fate of relationship

today i dialled one no for appro 200 times in four hours and still god is giving me the energy to dial it again and again... just wanted to listen someones voice .. just wanted to talk to someone.. just wanted to explain someone...pray to god that he keeps on giving me strenth to dial it again and again...

I never thought i would be so down with my own dignity that i had to speak such words which i had never spoken to anyone till date ( except her in past ) and still she wont value my single request to talk ... for the first time in my life i felt worthless for her.. but still cant think anything wrong abt her.. and keep on loving her

What makes me feel bad is ..after such a long relationship of ours.. i couldnt prove my love to her.. she couldnt beleive how much she was important to me.. one random perception abt something decided the fate of our relationship.. i had never thought that the fate of such a beautiful relationship would be decided with such conclusion of single event.

i wanted just to speak once to her.. for which i offered all my possible requests... and something else ( which i cant even term in words )... i just wished i could forget something in my life then these requests would be the one which i would like to forget since i have gone down so much being possessive abt the relationship

I dont know what is it all about .. i just know one thing and one basic fact that i love her.. i can never forget her.. i dont know whats true .. but it could be easier for her to forget all this but for me its gonna be tough.. she had asked me a question last night that whether i have lied to her.. i said no i havent lied to her anytime till date.. now i feel hope i would have lied today.

I dont know why.. but still i would keep on loving her for the rest of my life.. reasons are

1) I beleive in basics which are still clear that she loves me and she cant ever forget me nor can i , we had been integral part of each other.. so she cant forget me and i cant forget her.
2) i know she always wished good for me and will wish good for me.. so would i
3) she would always remain the same girl in my life with whom i have experienced the best days of my life..
4) she is and she will remain my BABU .. for the rest of my life.. no one can take away our memories.

Todays night is gonna be very long...

apprehension... ????

I think i could not properly explain u what my apprehension is all about... my apprehension was never abt the way you love or whether u love me or not... my apprehension was that if something like this small thing could shake your trust on me and our relationship then i just pray to god that he give both of us enough wisdom to handle such barriers if they come in our life..

You know that i love u very much and i am sure that its gonna increase only with no any possibility of dip in it .. i dont have any doubt abt your love to me... so no apprehension abt the love between us.. the only thing is that we have to learn out of such events so that our relationship doesnt have to go thru a rough patch like the way we have had yesterday...

I have always told you that that i am the one who sees the picture of future rather then crying over split milk... and i see u as partner of life with whom i should share my apprehension so the relationship lasts longer and better in the future to come.

You are very important in my life and thats the reason why i kept on calling you and kept on tryin to convince you to talk atleast once with me so i can remove the bottlenecks.. ... you are the person who is very high spirited , who can turnaround the talk and can take away anyone's attention. i am very lucky to have you in my life.

i think i never shared my concerns of continuing relationship or discontinuing our talk or doubting abt my promise of meeting u once in year... so if u ever conclude anything out of my talk like this then pls understand that i never meant it at all..

i think its not matter of owning someone... i still feel that i own you and will own you in future in my own way inspite of someone else in yr life.. i think we will have to learn seeing each other as an individual rather then seeing someone as owned by someone else.... i understand things are not that easy but i think we dont have any other way out... either we have it or we dont have it..and i am sure that we want to have it.

You always say that u have lived yr life in these 100 days and u dont want anything if things dont stay as they are... but i am not the one who is satisfied with this 100 days.. i would always want 1000000 sets of such 100 days.. because beyond which we would no more be in this birth of life lolzzz and u know whats gonna happen in next birth lolzzz

i am still hungry for this relationship so always think very long term abt it.. its not like a college relationship where two meet and depart... this relationship is gonna stay here and i am committed to take it to newer heights every time.. every day .. every hour... every day .. every month and every year.. i cant ever be satisfied with these 100 days only...

You dont have to be satisfied with my pics only or with my news only as to how am i doing in my life.... i told u that i am ready to do anything and everything to keep this relationship as it is right now... i know things will change in future.. but neither wil my love nor my passion to maintain the relationship at its best...

You should never worry who is gonna be in my wife.. there is no comparision with you since u are the BEST and i am not saying this just for the sake of saying it.. i avoid all other time pass girls just because u are the BEST for me.. and i just wish i make u feel it and make u realise it.

I have got so much of love from you that i have yet to give u more to reconcile the same .. but u know whenever i give u love.. u tend to give me double of what i give u so i end up piling up the deficit every time and now i think i have a lot of love to be tendered to you to come at equal level lol.....

else u know in love ... u tend to like to do what the other person likes .. u always tell me that i follow whatever u say .. but you know i love to follow you .. i love to do what u say.. i love to cook breakfast for u .. i love to go to place u like .. watch movie u like.. eat what u like.. wear what u like..

u said u behave overjealous and overposseisve abt me....and why cant u say that u come right now.. ??? u have all rights to ask me... and i tell u that u have all rights to feeel overpossessive abt me.. i would just say that comparisions would always lead to confusion nothing else... i also used to do it with yr friend ( r*nk) but now i realise that i enjoy it better when i dont feel jealous because in my heart i know that u love me the most ...

love u the most... just one request that whenever we have any differences we will forget it on the very next day and will be what we were when we met for the first time

love u the most...

yours and yours only in our world and u are mine and only mine in my world

My First Karwa chauth

Today is my first karwa chauth and my babu doesnt know that I am fasting for him. The other day he said if any gal says ......ki karwa chauth ka fast rakha hai .....to ........infact I also felt silly to see unmarried peopple keeping fast but today I realised if you are too much in love you feel good doing all this...I am happy fasting for you. I want to fast for your well being and your prosperity.
I loveyou so much that I have started believing in all rituals old/new sab kuch :):):)

Last night had the feeling that as long as we are together whatever little time, will think that you are just mine and me yours...our world, just u me n our betu. Three of us, happy together in our own world where there is only love, pure love
I am sure nobody wud have loved the way we do.

I respect you for so many things. I like all the things that you do for me, even the kisses are so gentle one me that it feels heavenly.

today just one prayer, Next birth all my vrats for you.:):):) and hope next birth main aapko bhi acha lagega......

love u lots,
HDMS

Most Precious Weekend of My Life...

I am going thru the best days of my life which i will treasure with me for the rest of my life.. and the last week was the best one till date in my life....

Stretched weekend with Monday as holiday.... then came Friday as another holiday , the weekend started from thursday itself... i got a great surprise of my life from her when she got two tickets of the movie i wanted to watch... i could really sense that how much each of my single word valeued to her... the best surprise till date and that too such a movie where she just glued to me on every scene of that scary movie... i can't forget the entry of the ghost and thank him for such a scary entry since she just glued to me , i wish all movies could be such scary movies with end no of ghosts so all such scenes can end up with great hugs with her..... then in interval i asked her to stay there and i will bring water but she said no she will be scared to sit alone lolzz.. and i laughed then and held her hand and we went outside to buy popcorn .. laughed on those who had bought bucket of popkorn ( as always lolzzz )........ and again we started watching movie..

on friday..started with our morning walk with light talk and then..... with worst breakfast although she says it was the best ( she loves me so she says it... else it was worst lolzzz ) ... we went out for some fun at mall called infiniti mall roamed around...these days i like to wear wht she recommends... in my entire life i had never thought that i would ever wear something diff ... but i did .. i love to do wht she says.. bought brown shoes .. short shirts.. i love to do what she recommends..... and trust me i never thought i would look so good with all this that u have chosen.... feel proud while walking with u .

to be continued...

Promise for life time...

you asked me abt my promise to meet agter 25 yrs... but let me ask somethign more from you.. and that is we will meet atleast once in a year...

and let me tell u one thing... if someone told u are the other woman in my life.. my reply is staright u are an equal woman in my life and would remain equally important in my life.

i consider myself a very lucky person to have u in my life and i am sure i would have done something good so i have recieved such a beautiful gift in my life.

Most Precious Moments of Life....

These days am on my life time high moods...... these are the most precious moments of my life.. and i shall keep the same in pandora so no one can steal the same.

I wish the clock could be reversed and can be taken back to say for 15 years back and i could have started my relationship w.e.f from the reversed day only , i would have chosen her as my life partner from that day itself and we would have able to store more in the pandora box.

i had never thought in my life that the relationship can be so open , transperent still so much loving ... when i started to get into this relationship i thought it to be a separate relationship and thought i would tackle it this way .. but in between once i thought shall i be able to tackle it this way or not... and trust me i thought i would not , but trust me with mutual support we have been able to keep the relationship so beautiful that if i see our relationship as a third person i would envy it.

the kind of love and care we share for each other inspite of such trasperency ( presence as well as future ) .. is really amazing and loving. we have also come far long way and have had hindrances and fights in between .. but what i have observed is that these days we hve been able to understand better and the differences have reduced.

Sometimes our relationship looks like a fairy tale story but i now feel that its gift of God to both of us and God wants us to nurture it this way only and treasure it for life time thats why God couldnt see us away from each other for more then a day since we have met.

Trust me.... you are a very special person for me and will remain the same special person for me rest of life..... come what may.... i always dreamt to handle the relationship in the best of its way and i think we are doing it.. and we will keep on doing it.

i have promised myself that i shall never let this relationship go thru tough times for more then a day or two in future also ( differences are bound to come but its how we resolve and reunite)

I feel very special with you and love to come back ASAP and talk with you ... u make me very specail although i fail to make u realise so , but trust me i am improving.

love u immensly....

Everything exclusively and entirely for you

My dear betu,

I want to let you know that anything that makes you happy makes me happier.

Never for a fraction of a second I ever wanted you to remove pics .....I truly want you to get the love of your life. I know how it feels to loose somebody who you love so dearly and dreamt of being together all your life.I wish you get everything you ever wanted.

My love for my best buddy would always remain as it is now, lil jealousy that I have in me I should be able to overcome in the coming days....read somewhere...if love is true...we may not be together sharing the same roof but we share a common feeling of wishing the very best for each other.

I wish the stars, the moons and most importantly a bright sunshine making you smile all your life. .....you are allowed to miss me at times :):):) since you will be missed for the rest of my life.